Spring Cleaning… From the Inside Out

Last week, I shared about the tail end of winter… that tender, in-between space where we feel the pull to rise but may still be tangled in the remnants of what surfaced in the dark. I wrote about how winter draws us inward, asking us to descend, to feel, to rest, to remember.

And now… I’m feeling the bubbling energy of spring.

The light is coming back. The air is beginning to change. Birds are louder. The snow is melting.
There’s a momentum building… not just outside, but inside of me too.

But there’s something I didn’t expect this year… For the first time that I can remember, I’m actually feeling resistance to the spring and summer energy.

Usually, this is the time when I feel hopeful. Excited. Recharged. But this year? That familiar hope has been replaced with a kind of hopelessness.

So much has changed. So much has unraveled.
And though I trust the process… I can feel how different this year will be.
There’s some sadness in that. Some fear. Some shakiness in the not-knowing.

But I’m starting to realize that hopelessness isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, I’m beginning to see it as a portal into surrender.

Hope, while beautiful, can sometimes keep us clinging to expectations. We keep trying to shove the square peg into the round hole. We “hope” it will work out that way… even when life is clearly asking us to let go.

And in that hopelessness… when our illusions fall away… we find spaciousness. We stop gripping. We stop forcing. And we finally open to what’s true. What’s real. What’s aligned.

Spring is the season of the Wood element, governed by the Liver and Gallbladder. It’s the time when the body naturally wants to detox and release, not just physically, but emotionally and energetically too.

I’m beginning to see that this hopelessness is part of the spring cleanse.

And what if hope, in some ways, is one of the things being detoxed?

We’re in a time of cleansing before the bloom. The internal “spring cleaning” that creates space for something entirely new to emerge.

So that’s where I’m at right now… Somewhere between grief and curiosity. Allowing this hopelessness to do its work, not as an enemy, but as an ally in the detox. A necessary clearing of the emotional debris that’s kept me bound to old versions of what I thought my life should be.

Spring is movement. Spring is clarity. Spring is growth. But first… spring is a purge.

And mine is happening from the inside out.

For me, that’s looked like…

✨ Feeling waves of grief I thought I already “dealt with”
✨ Letting go of old identities I didn’t know I was still clinging to
✨ Clearing spaces in my home that somehow mirrored the clutter in my mind
✨ Saying no to things I used to tolerate
✨ Sitting with the rawness that comes before clarity

Winter dredged things up. Old patterns. Deep emotions. Parts of myself that needed tending. I don’t think we can bypass that… at least, I can’t. I’ve learned that true growth requires a willingness to look at the mess. To get our hands in the soil of our own being and ask: What’s still here that isn’t mine anymore?

And that’s the invitation spring brings:
Clear the space.
Till the soil.
Prepare the ground for what’s truly aligned.

What’s helped me most lately is remembering that detox isn’t just physical… it’s emotional, energetic, spiritual. The Liver is responsible for the smooth flow of Qi… life force, vision, inspiration. When it’s stagnant, you can feel it in irritability, fogginess, tension, indecision.

When I honor that stagnation as a signal, and gently begin to move through it… whether through breath, tears, journaling, walking, a liver purge, or clearing out a junk drawer.. I start to feel that inner “thaw.” I don’t have to force the rise. I just have to make space for it.

So yes, this spring feels different. But maybe it’s supposed to. Maybe the clearing isn’t just about what’s blocking the bloom… but about releasing what we thought would bloom in the first place.

If you’re in this space too… navigating the discomfort, holding the both grief and curiosity, allowing the purge to move through… you’re not alone.

We’re in the season of rebirthing. Let’s make it sacred together.

With a freshly tilled heart,